Rockets

I find myself wanting to shout at my boss. 

Stop telling me what to do. I know that!

But really, what led her to say that? As I delve deeper into the cause of her worries and nagging is that I realize I have failed her on many fronts, big and small. We may not realize in many circumstances, we are the cause for our worries, frustrations and anger. And I think there are some ways to deal with her worries. It’s part obsession, part induced and somehow the invisible hand is ours to make and break. 

1. Pre-empt your boss. You know if your boss is going to pick on several things that is his/her pet peeve, please just preempt that. It saves on the heartache. Imagine he/she keeps seeing the same things done over and over again.

2. Be extra diligent. Doesn’t mean you work long hours but have the initiative to work out the situation, understand it and be the solution. Make sure when it reaches your boss, its an honest and simple breakdown. Offer analysis and a few solutions. 

3. Get over yourself. Many office politics begin and end with this. If an apology can help smooth a rising tension, deal with it. If its your fault, face it. And if its your junior’s fault, someone you are over seeing, I generally apologize and bring it to the backroom. Take ownership of the situation.

4. See the big picture. That pretty much puts situations or problems  or skirmishes in perspective. Does the means justify the end or the end justify the means? I leave up to your personal conviction. For me, the ends justify the means if they do not implicate someone wrongfully or coerce someone into a situation unwillingly. 

And never ever get into a fight for the sake of. 

After going through a prolonged period of dissatisfaction and frustration, at some point enough is enough and we all scramble to get out of the situation. Many times and many people, I believe, find themselves in short term solutions that offers no long term relief. It’s the same old cycle that repeats itself over and over again.

So the question is how do we/I get out of the cycle? I’ve often find myself unable to follow my own advice. For the benefit of the eye, I will write down these steps.

1. Find a long term goal and keep it in mind. Write it somewhere so it will be a daily reminder. The more you see and the more you repeat in your mind, the chances of it happening becomes higher. This is the self-fulfilling prophecy.

2. Have a 3-months, 6-months, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years plan. Always built in flexibility so you can pick it up even when you fail to keep to the schedule. 

3. Manage your expectations. I still hate myself for making obvious or small mistakes. But no one is perfect, you have to understand failures are part of life, learn to pick yourself up and do better. No failure is too big to overcome. Another problem is frustration. What if you try and try and it just never gets better. Well, you can’t expect a different outcome with the same solution. How are we led to believe that doing a second time or third time will make you better? Try something new to help you learn and overcome the situation. Also, what if its the same problem and different solutions and it still does not get better? Especially when you are in a administrative or client servicing role. Stop beating yourself up. It could be stress that causes you to be reminded of the same mistake and you unconsciously follow it. People take time to internalize solutions to mistakes. Once you become familiar with the problem, it will diminish in size. 

Of course there are times you are in a position to make no mistakes. Take the lesson well, internalize it and move on. Dwelling on it just will not help.

4. Stop dwelling on the same old issues. Find a solution and tell yourself you are never ever going to fish it out again. It’s easier said than done but it is possible. You may take a very very long time to overcome but you will get there. 

Nothing is impossible if you don’t admit defeat. Don’t let the obstacle beat you!

Like a manifesto to myself, the list of to-dos keep repeating in my head. “I’m good enough for this”, the words go on looped in my head. Transported in the infamous morning meat-pack, my first reaches of stress has reached me even before I reach my destination.
Working towards a career can be dehumanizing. Cog 1 to Nut 2 to Spanner 4 and back to Wire 3. Where does tt place me?